Friday, April 15, 2011

CHRISTIAN BROTHERS REVIEWS



Direction: Joshiy / Joshee/ Josh-hee or some other funny spelling. Other crew: I don't know, and I frankly don't care, because, they are not even worth mentioning.

Well, we have all seen this- a hundred times. A father of high moral values - misunderstands his son- thinks son is gone rogue -  dad supports the villains -  kicks the son out of his house - later when the villains attack the father, son returns - saves him - father says sorry and dies.

Just to refresh your memory -Sphadikam, Balettan, Chotta Mumbai - a few in which Gentleman Cadet Mohanlal himself starred. So if you have seen any of those, save yourselves from this one, go buy a bottle for the cost of the ticket and enjoy your evening.

JosheeyiJosh-heejoshy josh hey Joshey after the hangover of 20-20 is stuck in the same soup formula, mega movies, huge stars(literally!), larger than life roles and cheap slap stick comedy.


Here is the story, or what is left of it: Rtd. Captian Vargheese Mappila (Saikumar) marries off his daughter Jessy (lakshmi Gopalaswamy) to Krishna(Goergootty) who is actually a pimp in Mumbai. Christi(Mohanlal ) who is a decent god fearing, family loving son, as he always used to be in all movies, goes to Mumbai and finds out the dealings of Georgeootty. Georgeootty kills the goondas who were chasing them for no apparent reason, while he could have run away, hands over the gun the Christi and escapes. The police arrests poor innocent Christi(violins in the background, please).  Georgootty doesn't stop there- he goes home, kills Jessy, his wife, again for no apparent reason. The clever villain then goes to Kerala, to Saikumar and tells him its Christi who did all this.

Tang da-dang !

Poor Christi out on bail, returns to his father to explain these things- Then the familiar thing happens-
Christi: "Dad, I have to tell you something"
Vargheese Mappila: "No, I dont want to hear anything! You have spoiled the family's prestige ! you killed my daughter! Get out ! I dont want to see you again!"

Christi: " But dad, its kind of important, you should hear this"
Vargheese Mappila: "No! I dont want to hear it! Get out!"

(well, if you remember seeing such scenes a 2983 times before, starting from Satyan-Sheela movies, its your fault, you don't forget anything, do you?)

Christi, is disappointed as much he would be if he didn't get ticket to a movie, walks out of the house, promising never to return.


That bugger pimp Georgeootty, killed his sister, put him in jail, blamed him for everything, won the trust of dad, and is staying in the same house with your other sister- and Christy cool, simbly walks out.

If you are still with me, there is more- Suraj Venjaranmoodu is irritating( if i had a cook like him, he wouldnt last 2 days at my home- got to admire the patience of the Home Minister(Devan)), Harisree ashokan( his 24th time in the role of a broker) is damn irritating. Guys, wake up! the name of what you did on screen is called cheapness, not comedy. I had a better laugh when I watched clowns in cheap circus tents.


The intro scene of Mohanlal: After the usual build up, there is fire all over the screen- Mohanlal appears and floats horizontally and fires bullets at the audience, then he splits into 3 and joins back again. What an amazing skill! I hear that Mohanlal recently mastered this trick while training with the Indian army.

Then there are the main villains- Vijayaraghavan and co. They just drink scotch whiskey near the pool and randomly stab and kill people.

The average age of all the actors in the movie is 53 years, 9 months.

A fat and old Suresh Gopi, a faint shadow of his former movie image, mouthing rhyming dialogues and marching here and there in uniform.


The fight scenes at regular intervals of 20 minutes are perfectly choreographed by Disco Shanti. No body gets hurt.(nothing spectacular here, go out for a smoke if you like. if you have seen one Mohanlal fight, you have seen it all)

Its a 3 hour 15 minutes of non stop torture. Wait for a few weeks and the theater projector operators will do some editing for you, and hopefully make more sense then what is presently there. I am sure with some lavish use of scissors, we can recycle the rubbish and re create a 10 minute crisp completely different movie. or maybe a couple of them.

Other than to show a bit of skin and also to show us, the stupid audience, that Christi is a man with emotions and is capable of loving and caring, there is Lakshmi Rai, and two completely unnecessory songs.

Dileep blabbers his usual stuff and roams around through screens, well, I don't know what else he did in the movie, other than being a reason to bring in Kavya Madhavan and an irritating song in foreign locations.

This is the kind of nonsense movie these old Jurassic age directors churn out. These are the kind of movies the stalwarts like Mohanlal and Suresh Body choose to act.

And these are the kind of movie that we, poor Malayalees, deserve to see- because its us, and no body else, gave the movie makers the feeling that we will gulp down any sh*t that is presented to us packed in colorful superstar wrappers and tied with the ribbon of over hype.

Enjoy your evening watching the news at home, it will be more entertaining than this movie


Christian Brothers Rating: 2/10

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